The Aliza project started in June of 2016 as a coping mechanism. It has since grown into something beautiful that fills me up every year!

May 12 2016 is a day not easily overlooked for our family. Please bare with me, this is not a story easily told. This is not an experience easily relived. But it has shaped me as an artist, as well as a woman. The project and the experience it was birthed from forever changed me. With every year this project continues, I grow more in love with it. And I hope you will too.

The Aliza project is at it’s heart a coping mechanism for the grief of losing my daughter. She was not the only baby we lost, but her story is the hardest. I have been blessed with the love for photography and chose to use it in my coping mechanism soon after laying Aliza to rest. I photographed my first ballerina in order to get out of the darkest depth inside me, and try to see beauty in life again. Soon after the first ballerina session, I did 2 more that month. Then I turned the ballerina sessions into a yearly occurrence in order to remember Aliza. Each year, it has brought beauty, magic, and light back into a painful time.

Now, if you are up for it, I’d like to share Aliza’s story with you.

In March of 2016 I was spending more time at a doctor’s office than not. I had been sick of varying degrees off and on for months. No amount of tests would confirm what I knew to be happening, I was pregnant. No medical professional would even consider the possibility because I had yet another IUD in. But no matter how many times I heard “that’s just not possible” I knew I was carrying our daughter.

By the end of March 2016 I had finally convinced a different doctor to do an ultrasound despite all tests coming up negative. Within seconds of the ultrasound starting, I had my first look at our daughter. Aliza was there! That day my IUD was removed and the doctor who found her kept telling me to not get my hopes up. I was measuring right at 28 weeks and she was only measuring at 20 weeks. Despite her size, she had a good strong heart, and I was hopeful!

I went into the doctor on May 12 2016 for an ultrasound, they quickly found out labor had started and took me to the hospital. 2 hours later I was holding my daughter. And 6 hours later she was gone. 4 hours after that we were sent home with shattered hearts and a slew of diagnoses.

As I type this, there are tears running down my cheek. I don’t mean to bring you any added sadness, the world has enough of that on it’s own. As it stands, this is the first time I have written down Aliza’s story in the 5 years it has been since losing her. And her story deserves telling.

The Aliza project is not one easily done, but it hold such a large place in my heart. And my hope is that by sharing it with you, I have given you a glimpse into my heart. As the years go, my goal is to continue on with this project in the memory of our beautiful daughter.

If you would like to be involved with future Aliza Project Sessions, you can contact me here.